And stare at the ceiling

He dormido fatal. El perro de los vecinos no paraba de llorar y llamar. Yo soñaba que la garganta se me iba cerrando y me costaba respirar. El despertador no ha sonado, aunque no ha hecho falta. Mis hijas se han levantado a la contra, negandose a vestirse, negandose a desayunar... La Princesa Nocilla quería ir disfrazada al cole y la Princesa Mermelada ha derramado la leche en el mantel... Y aunque sabes que son niños, que se comportan como tales, te diriges a ellos como adultos, buscando respuestas de adultos... ¿No os dais cuenta de que vamos a llegar tarde? Pues no, no se dan cuenta...

Y luego amerizo en el trabajo, busco el silencio alrededor, me gustaría quedarme ensimismada mirando al techo, como hacen mis hijas. Mirar al techo.

Lo siento, es Halloween, y sólo quiero que pase este día, porque a primera hora estoy demasiado cansada, porque aunque dibujar me calmaría y probablemente cambiaría mi humor, no puedo hacerlo; porque mañana podré quedarme en la cama durmiendo o mirando al techo.

He dormido fatal... y ahora soy yo la quejica.

.........................................................................................................

I haven't slept well. A neighbour dog didn't stop whining all night long. I was dreaming my throat was narrowing and I couldn't breathe well. The alarm clock didn't work this morning, but it wasn't necessary. My daughters have woken up totally against me, refusing to get dressed or have breakfast... Princess Nutella wanted to wear a Halloween costume to school and Princess Marmalade spilled her mug of milk on the tablecloth... And although you know they're just kids, they behave like kids, sometimes you desperately address them as if they were adults, looking for an adult response... Don't you realize you are going to be late? Well, no, they don't realize at all...

Then I land at work, looking for silence around me. I'd love to just stay still staring at the ceiling, as my daughters do quite easily. Staring at the ceiling.

Sorry, I know it's Halloween, and I only want this day to pass, because this early I'm too tired, because even if i know that drawing would soothe me and change my mood, I can't do it right now; I want this day to pass because tomorrow I could sleep in or stare at the ceiling from bed.

I haven't slept well... and now I'm the one whining...

Today's Music:

The Dream Syndicate

There is a place you might wanna go

it's right up my street

you might look and see the light shining

someone you might like to meet

He said "let's go for a ride"says it all the time

you know you got a lot to live for

and you're gonna be mine

You shouldn't believe the things you reed in papers

they can't come true

I don't believe the things that you see on TV

they'll never happen to you

2 steps forward

don't say I didn't warn you

2 steps forward

_ Halloween

The missing glamour

Mis hijas creen que a las modelos les falta glamour, así que se lo añaden...

Lo mismo pensaron entonces y entonces.

My daughters firmly believe models lack their sense of glamour, so they add it...

They thought so too then and then.

Today's music:

The Undertones

The little black dress

Es curioso como cada vez me acostumbro más a visualizar la vida como una sucesión de pantallas (como de videojuegos), llámalas etapas o lo que sea. Me doy cuenta de que lo que hace unos años era mi prioridad, ahora ni tan siquiera aparece en mi lista; lo que dominaba mis temas de conversación, ha desaparecido de mi vocabulario. Y no hablemos ya de niños... Jamás pensé que olvidaría con cuanto tiempo les había salido el primer diente, a qué edad comenzaron a tomar fruta... Todo se ha borrado. Bueno, todo ha sido sustituido por nuevos temas, nuevas experiencias que más tarde desaparecerán...

Me da por pensar en esto cuando me invitan a una boda. Bueno, en realidad , vislumbro en el horizonte dos bodas y una megafiesta de cumpleaños. Hubo un tiempo en el que tuve hasta cinco bodas en un año, lo que era un trastorno para mi presupuesto, pero me hizo tener un armario de princesa. De repente, ya no te invitan más. Todos están casados. Y no digamos lo de las fiestas. Con niños pequeños a nadie se le ocurre. Pero pasan los años y los niños crecen y los padres retoman iniciativas, planes que creíamos vetados. Parece que pongo un pié tímidamente en esta pantalla...

Y todo esto me lleva a pensar que yo lo que necesito es un bonito vestido negro y unos tacones.

...........................................................................................................

It feels funny how I’ve got used to visualize life as a succession of screens (like of videogames), call them stages or whatever. I realize now how my life priorities of the last years have been changing and some of them I happen not to have them on my list anymore; I realize that my then main subjects have vanished a little from my conversation. And as far as children matters... I never thought that I would forget when their first tooth showed, when they started eating fruit, etc. A lot of it has been erased. Well, it has been replaced by new subjects, new experiences that later will disappear, I guess.

A recent invitation to a wedding has made me think of all this. In fact, I can glimpse two weddings in my horizon and one big and chic birthday party. There was a time when I had up to five weddings in one year, which sure was a budget upheaval, but I ended up with the closet of a princess. Suddenly, you stop receiving these invitations. Friends, family... Most of us are already married. Let alone celebrations! With small children nobody can think of partying. Then time goes on and children grow and parents retake initiatives, plans that we believed vetoed. It seems to me that I’m timidly entering this new screen...

Finally, all this rambling leads me to think that what I need is a nice black dress and some high heels.

Today's music:

R.E.M

The greyest day of all

Está oscuro.
En casa se está calentito.
Y enciendo las luces para ponerme manos a la obra...
Gracias por vuestros comentarios sobre los últimos cuadros.


It's dark outside.
It's warm indoors.
I turn on the lights to get on with work...
Thanks so much for your comments on the latest series.


Today's music:
Nick Cave

Circling

50 x 70 cm

19.6 x 27.5 inches

Title: Life looks better when I sing

(Click image to see a better resolution)

Algunas piezas de la serie de los "Bosques Mágicos" son círculos. Círculos mágicos, círculos femeninos... La música, el baile, la espera, el cansancio, el cariño...

Estoy preparando la pequeña exposición de diciembre en Bilbao, y como precalentamiento seis de estos cuadros estan expuestos en la tienda Gong del centro comercial Artea en Leioa.

Some pieces of the "Magical Forests" series are circles. Magic circles, femenine circles... The music, the dance, the waiting, the tiredness, the affection...

I'm preparing a small exhibit in Bilbao in December, and as a warm up, six pieces of this series are hanging at the Gong shop in Artea, Leioa.

Today's music:

Antony & the Johnsons

Safaries and rollercoasters

Más divertido que ver la tele!

More fun than watching tv!

Today's music:

B-52's

Good Friday

...y levantó su cara al cielo, dejando que el sol templara su piel...

... and she raised her face to the sky, letting the sun warm up her skin...

Today's music:
Damien Jurado

Handknitted scarf

Hoy , según preparábamos el desayuno, las niñas se dedicaban a dibujar con sus dedos en las ventanas empañadas. Se les han quedado las manos heladas, pero ellas, tan contentas... Hoy he sacado el abrigo. Hace demasiado frío para ser otoño. Hace unos días estábamos en mangas de camisa y de repente me levanto preguntándome si será necesario sacar las bufandas del cajón.

Todo esto me ha recordado la historia de Marcela. De cómo tejió y tejió una bufanda para su amante, y según pasaba las horas tejiendo, una vuelta más, una vuelta más, un dibujo así, y así, el tiempo pasaba y su amante empezó a revolver en otros armarios. Al fin y al cabo, a él la bufanda le daba igual. El quería un poco de cariño, y bueno, ya sabes... Marcela hizo la bufanda más bonita del mundo, pero embargó su felicidad. Moraleja: no insisto lo suficiente, a veces, nos obcecamos tanto con cosas banales y no prestamos atención a quienes nos necesitan. E insisto en ello porque yo también necesito recordármelo a mí misma a menudo.

Os deseo un buen jueves.

.....................................................................................

This morning, as we were preparing breakfast, the kids dedicated to fingerdraw on the misty windows. They have ended up with their hands frozen, but they were oh so happy… Today I have taken my coat out of the closet. This morning it was way too cold for autumn. A few days back we were in our shirtsleeves and now, all of a sudden, I get up wondering if it will be necessary to take the scarfs out from the drawer.

All this has reminded me of Marcela’s story. Of how she knitted and knitted a scarf for her lover, and as the hours passed she knitted, another line, and another line, a pattern thus, and thus, so time went by and her lover began to mess in other closets. After all, he didn’t mind too much about the scarf. All he wanted was a little loving, and well, you know… Marcela made the prettiest scarf in the world, but she lost her happiness in the meantime.
Moral: I do not insist enough, sometimes, we are blinded so much with banal things and we don’t pay attention to those who need us. And I insist on it because I also need to remember it myself often.

Have a good Thursday.

Today's music:

Elvis Costello

Do you do you do you wanna dance with me...?

Well, she felt like dancing too...

Bueno, también a ella le apetecía bailar...

Today's music:

Ramones, again...

So you hear my song wandering through the trees

60 x 80 cm

23 x 31 inches

Un paso más en la serie de Bosques Mágicos.
Me gustaría que pudierais ver cómo van quedando enmarcados, con las texturas de los diferentes papeles, con los personajes interaccionando y formando un mini-mundo.
Estos días necesitamos magia. Y mitos y cuentos y alma.
Creo que nunca antes me había expresado mejor con tan poco.
Espero que estos cuadros salgan pronto a airearse en un par de exposiciones.
Y sí, estarán a la venta.

This is a step forward in the Magical Forests series.
I'd like you to see them framed, with the different paper textures, with the characters building up their own mini-world and interacting.
These days we could all do with some magic. And with myths and with storytelling and with a little soul.
I believe That I'd never before expressed myself better with so little.
I expect these pieces to come out and breathe in a couple of forecoming little exhibits.
And yes, for those of you who asked, they'll be available to buy.

Today's music:
Joni Mitchell

Carousel and party

Domingo documentado:

Sol radiante
Tiovivo en el parque

Una nueva muñeca para jugar
Fiesta de cumpleaños en el campo

Aviones en el cielo

Viento sur y las montañas perfilandose al anochecer

Documented Sunday:

Bright autumn sun

Carousel at the park

A new doll to play with

Birthday party at the countryside

Airplanes in the sky

South wind and outlined mountains at dusk

Today's music:

Gigolo Aunts

Happy Birthday Princess Marmalade!

Han pasado 6 años

y a cada paso te conviertes en una persona

más imaginativa

más generosa

más feliciana

más desordenada

más risueña

más despistada

y

tú disfrutas el doble de la vida!

Zorionak!

It's been 6 years now

and with every step you turn into a

more imaginative

more generous

happier

more disorganized

more cheerful

more daydreamer

person

You enjoy life twice as much than other people!

Happy Birthday!

The ultimate and crazy challenge

Ayer nos despedimos de Unai. Partió hacia Francia, desde donde los barcos tomaran la salida, en esa regata imposible que es la Vendee Globe.

Se me encoge el corazón cuando pienso en su aventura. Su locura. Su reto. Su hazaña.

Sé que en tu barco, en algun momento, leerás estas líneas:

Agur! Buen viaje! Nos vemos al final de la travesía!

Yesterday we waved Unai goodbye. He sailed out to France where the sailboats will be departing, taking place in that breathtaking Vendee Globe sailrace.

My heart shrinks when I talk about his adventure. His craziness. His challenge. His achievement.

I know that sometime in your sailing boat you'll be reading these words:

Have a safe crossing! See you back at the pier!

Today's music:

Lemonheads

It goes all the way up

Me parece que estas dos fotos tomadas en el mismo lugar el mismo día hacían una buena pareja.

I thought these two pictures taken at the same place on the same day made a good pairing somehow.

Today's music:
Leonard Cohen

Whistle love

sssshhhhh...

Sssshhh.... acércate, es justo el momento. Es el momento para contar una historia. La historia de Sara.
Sara salió un día de casa bien preparada a visitar a unas amigas. En el camino, en el metro, un chico tropezó con ella y se disculpó. Ella enseguida se ensimismó como solía, pero algo le puso nerviosa. Se dio cuenta de que aquel chico ya había tropezado con ella en más de una ocasión, otros días, en el mismo trayecto. Se retorció un poco las manos, comprobó su bolso, desconfiada como era y levantó la vista hacia aquel desconocido. Le gustó la calidez de la sonrisa que le dirigió, que se encogiera de hombros como disculpándose por sonreir, que con cierta soltura silbara para sí una canción que ella no oyó. Quiso que aquella canción fuera una de sus favoritas, que el sonido del silbido llegara más claro hasta ella y que ella pudiera responder silbando. Pero ella no sabía silbar, se dijo, y le miró desilusionada, sintiendo crecer la distancia que les separaba en el vagón del metro. Miró hacia la ventana, sintiendo el paisaje cada vez más desdibujado, sintiendo la sonrisa de aquel chico desvanecerse en el aire. Se levantó y se dirigió hacia la salida, insegura en su andar, insegura en su respirar, insegura, nada más.
Contó su pequeña historia a sus amigas, esquivando las dos lágrimas que se asomaban, percibiendo la trivialidad de cada palabra que pronunciaba. Oyó como le decían... Menuda tontería... Mientras la ceguera les invadía.


Sssshhh…. come closer, it is time. Time to tell a story. The story of Sara.

Sara went to visit some friends neatly dressed. On her way, in the tube, a young man bumped into her and apologized. A second after she was absorbed in her thoughts as she used to, but something made her restless. She realized that was the same young man who had bumped into her more than once, other days, in the same route. She twisted her hands a little, checked nervously her purse, distrustful as she was and rose her eyes to the stranger. She instantly liked the warmth of his smile, the way he shrugged his shoulders as if apologizing for smiling at her; she liked the way he loosely whistled almost to himself a song that she couldn't hear. Right then she wanted that one song to be one of her all time favorites, that the sound of the whistling could reach her clearly and that she could answer him back whistling. But she realized she did not know how to whistle and she sank in her seat, staring at him disappointedly, feeling how the distance between them grew inside that tube unit. She guided her stance towards the window, feeling the blurred landscape, feeling the smile of the young man vanishing in the air. She got up and went towards the exit, uncertain in her walk, uncertain in her breathing, uncertain, nothing else.

She told her small story to her friends, dodging two tears that were beginning to show up in her eyes, perceiving the triviality of each word she pronounced. She heard her friends' words… Oh nonsense… While blindness conquered them all.

Today's music:

Damien Rice

Looking for a brown bounty

Vale, lo acepto. Es otoño. Y también trae tesoros.

Ok, I can take it. It's autumn. And it carries treasures along too.

Today's music:
Smog

Because winter is here and the girls are shy

60 x 80 cm

23 x 31 inches

De la serie "Bosques Mágicos"

From the "Magical Forests" series

The shy girls

Today's music:

The Faces

My 11 things tag

Answering Marie-Louise's tag:

*Clothes shop. Too many

*Furniture shop. Very few
*City... mmmm... let me think... mmmm... I could travel to New York a thousand times and never get tired of the city, and I also like Bilbao, my city and San Francisco, London, Amsterdam, Barcelona, Sevilla and Paris. But the truth is that I'm sure I'm missing great places that would fit my expectations: Berlin, Dublin, Vancouver, Coppenhagen, Sidney, Lisbon, Milan, Prague, Buenos Aires... I've heard too many good things about these cities and I guess I haven't travelled that much.

*Drink. Water, sparkling water, non-cafeine coke...

*Music. I'll have to say Neil Young first, followed by hundreds more... (check some names on my profile or browse my blog if you feel like it) I'm a music fan.

*TV. I'm not a TV person... My remote control has been missing for the last three weeks... The first TV series I was hooked to was Twin Peaks...

*Movies. I'm not a film expert but I enjoy Woody Allen, David Lynch, Coen Bros, Almodovar and many more, but as a kid I was a Star Wars fan... I hate american action movies.
*Workout, ha, ha... No time... too lazy... I miss walking more though...

*Pastry... I'm not much a pastry person... a slice of a chocolate cake maybe...

*Coffee: I haven't had coffee in my life, sorry...

*Sweets: yes, yes, please! Red licorice, gummies, chocolate... Any candy would make my day!

Who wants to be tagged? Feel tagged...